Maturity is an ideal quality in any leader/manager. Apparently, she is not comfortable in her own skin. Here are some tips for the team members:
First, abandon any thoughts or hope of fixing her. Although many of us secretly believe we can fix almost anything — we cannot fix other people. Only she can change herself with the help of a professional. Whatever lies behind someone else’s lack of confidence or insecurity is beyond our full understanding — that is, it’s guess-work — so don’t go there. Better to work on a coping strategy with such a boss.
Avoid any behavior that is likely to foster her feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. Look for opportunities to affirm her accomplishments, sound decisions, good advice, and positive behavior. Look for ideas and initiatives that she and the team can both share and can pursue as a partnership. Having a sense of shared commitment to something makes a bright idea seem less threatening to an insecure manager.
Also, do not engage in frequent group discussions expressing negative thoughts, criticisms, assessments, and frustrations concerning your boss. Such negative chatter has a maddeningly predictable tendency to somehow circle back to the last person you would wish to share it with: your boss.
Dealing with an insecure manager requires attention to detail and a willingness to sacrifice your own ego to boost her: Offer Assistance, Show Appreciation, Acknowledge Positive Traits, and Share Credit.
Each team member just needs patience and the ability to see things for what they are. Because if they get caught up in her insecurities, take it personally, become defensive or react, then it can become a toxic workplace. Keep it professional and non-emotional if you can. You’ll come out feeling good and on top in the end.